College is a huge adjustment. You’re suddenly responsible for feeding, cleaning, and taking care of yourself. Friends become family, and school becomes home. Balancing life becomes more of a challenge, and free time becomes a distant memory. The fun of the newness and business comes with the unexpected consequence of being tired and lonely. How do you balance it all?
I started at the University of Central Florida almost a year ago. I signed up for my first classes in May 2024, took my first college test in June, and moved on campus in August.
Since then, I have seen myself and the people around me grow into adulthood. Growing requires work. The following advice may have made the work I had to do easier. It is crucial to go through the growing pains, but it’s helpful to know that other people are going through the same struggles. No one’s life is as easy as it looks on Instagram, and knowing what to expect may take some of the sting out of starting over. So, here are five things I experienced during my freshman year, and what I learned from them.
- The panic over picking a major
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Picking a major seemed like the most important decision of my life. I couldn’t help but think that declaring a major was going to determine the rest of my future. My future seemed to be in the palm of my hand, and, while exciting, I kept feeling like I was making the wrong choice.
I wasn’t good enough for graphic design or competitive enough for journalism, and I felt like I couldn’t be good enough or, like, anything enough, to commit to a career path. I was interested in so many things, but not confident enough to commit to any of those interests.
The problem was how much pressure I was putting on this one decision. While an important one, committing to a major does not single-handedly define you or your future. People make this decision based on different ideals. Some just want to learn more about their art, passion, or creativity. Others are only interested in getting a specific job after graduation, and some are looking for something in between the two.
Ignore whatever list you’re trying to check off with your major, and try to focus on the present. What do you like now? What job are you trying to get now? What classes are you interested in taking now? Worrying too much about the future makes focusing on the present hard. The biggest thing I recommend incoming freshmen do is to focus on the now, enjoy the transition, and worry about the future when you’re able to separate it from the present.
- The alone time adverse
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I am an emotional person. When my parents waved goodbye to me through their car window, I felt my emotions bubbling to the surface. I was excited, scared, hopeful, and pessimistic about college life. I was already lonely, yet still ready to be social. I texted a friend from high school and drove to his brand new dorm, just missing my parents pulling out of my new home’s parking lot.
I had the best time.
We unpacked and caught up. We got late-night snacks and did our first loads of laundry together. It was all just how I imagined it. You wouldn’t think something living up to your expectations could be a problem, but somehow it became one for me.
As the days wore on, I began chasing the feeling I had that first night. Between long hours at the library, surrounded by people, and the numerous game and movie nights with my new roommates and friends, I never allowed myself to be alone. Being alone felt wrong. I felt like there was always something to do, new friends to make, and connections to form. This eventually led to endless exhaustion. I wanted to be out, but I truly needed to be in bed with a book.
So during those first few days, embrace the quietness of your dorm. Relish in the alone time, and when your schedule gets busier, plan it into your days. The exhaustion that accompanies constant companionship will make doing the hard things harder.
I recommend viewing alone time as productive and gathering hobbies that bring you joy. Do those hobbies because they make you happy, not to be proactive or likable.
- The friendship leaver
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Moving on to a college campus gives you sudden access to hundreds of people your age in similar living situations with similar goals and opinions. It is natural to “collect” friends when you realize just how alone you are. It is natural to search for a new family in your new home. I did this in my first semester. My roommates became my best friends, and my classmates became my companions. However, I didn’t expand beyond those first connections. I spent every day with the same four people and realized the push to keep searching had faded. So, I did the irresponsible thing.
I left those friendships.
I stopped giving those relationships time and committed to different things. I was excited that it was working. I saw relations grow and nurtured my new friendships, using them as evidence that leaving was something I needed to do. But things were different. My dorm was quieter, my days were longer. I was happy but sad to leave the first semester behind me.
When you make those new friends, be careful not to leave the old ones. You can have both; it doesn’t have to be a choice. I love my current friends, but I love my old ones too. Love as many people as you can; there’s not a finite amount of love. Put yourself out there to make those initial relationships, and then nurture and watch them grow. Don’t cut any — let them all thrive! If a friend puts that same time into you, you have a healthy friendship that’s worth the time.
- The overachiever
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College is the first time in my life that I have felt like everything is in my control. I have complete control over my major, grades, friends, future, health, happiness, business, etc. That’s a lot of responsibility and a lot to do.
For the first few months of college, I had to be doing something. A day without completing any homework was a failure, and a day without attending a class or club was a disappointment. My health and happiness shifted from being a priority to being irrelevant. This constant need to do so much kept me from doing important things to care for myself.
My advice is, don’t see downtime as lazy. Downtime is necessary to prepare you for go time. Use your energy for things you care about, not just to fill time. Time isn’t something to fill, it’s something to use. Set this standard as soon as you enter college, and your time will be used more productively. Limit the things you spend time on, and schedule your time around people and activities you care about most. Cut out the excess, as it will just distract you from what’s truly important to you.
- The personality analyst
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When I returned to school after winter break, I thought I had finally figured everything out. I was happy with my life and the changes I had made throughout the year. I felt that the changes I had made were enough. My life had become so good that I limited further change. I was satisfied with my major, my classes, my job, my clubs, my friends, and my life. However, settling for satisfaction made me scared to go for more.
Satisfaction left me scared of changes. I was scared to go for more, and I hated it. I thought to myself, I had it figured out; why would I need more?
When you eventually reach that place of satisfaction, don’t settle, don’t stop. Don’t assume you have it all figured out. College life is fluid. It changes so much that you never know something for long, and that’s okay. My advice is to be content with always looking to learn more.
Stop analyzing yourself, to ensure you “know what you’re doing” and just accept that the learning isn’t going to stop. Gaining new information won’t make the information you already have less valid. Learning how to live doesn’t take away from your current life. Be excited that college will teach you so much, and embrace that feeling!
In conclusion, my first year of college taught me a lot. Adjusting to a new lifestyle was a lot for me to learn. I hope the things I learned about myself and how I want to live my college life will help you live yours. Give yourself grace, because no one has it all figured out, and the process is different for everyone. Be encouraged that the experience is significant enough to teach you those lessons, and you’ll graduate a better adult than when your parents waved goodbye to you that first night.