A little over two months ago, I returned home to Canada after studying abroad for three months in Manchester. I wrote an article in the beginning of my exchange which recounted some of my thoughts since moving abroad, and provided some helpful advice to navigate those first weeks of exchange when you’re just getting settled in. This article is intended as a continuation of the first; this time, however, it’s taking a look at the whole experience in hindsight. I’m sharing how my outlook changed from the beginning to the end of my exchange, as well as what I wish I knew when I was still abroad.
1. The shift from feeling homesick to feeling like you belong there happens overnight.
You won’t notice it at first, and even I can’t tell you exactly when the mindset shift happened for me. I just know that one day, I was walking back to my flat after class, and I suddenly felt like, for the first time in a long time, I was in the moment. I had a newfound appreciation for the mundane, and I thought to myself, “I love my little life here.” From there on out, being in Manchester just felt natural. My weekly trip to the grocery store, my daily commute to campus, my regular coffee outings with my friends before or after class, were all second nature to me. Of course, as I mentioned before, those changes didn’t come overnight. I had to take little steps every day to build a routine and a life there, but once I got that down, it clicked very quickly.
Not only that, but my mindset shifted from “I’m only here for 3 months, I’ll be back home soon” to “I’m only here for 3 months and I want to make this city feel like home.” I found my new favourite yoga studio, I joined the university newspaper, I made a point to go to the grocery store further away to get peanut butter that I actually liked to eat, and I took pride in decorating and organizing my room, even if it did mean I would just take it down in a few months. Don’t get me wrong, I still had moments of anxiety after that, but I was able to approach them with a completely different attitude because I felt like I had a sense of stability in Manchester.
All that to say, give yourself some grace in those first few weeks when you’re finding your footing and know that better things are coming. At times, it will feel like you’re going one step forward and three steps back, even when you’re trying everything to establish a routine in your new environment. You may find yourself wondering, “Okay, but when does it get easier?” Trust me; it will happen when you least expect it.
2. You won’t believe it at first, but when people say it’ll go by so fast, they are telling the truth.
If the first month on exchange felt like a drag, the next two months flew by in the blink of an eye. So hear me when I say, romanticize everything. Once I started feeling more settled in Manchester, it became easy for me to take the little things for granted because, like I said before, they just became second nature. I really had to make a conscious effort to slow down and see the beauty in what I was doing, even if I had done the same thing the day before. That is to say, make progress on that list of must-see and must-do things in your new city that’s probably sitting in your Notes app while you can. You don’t necessarily have to check one thing off every day, but take advantage of your free time and weekends to do some sightseeing. I was so optimistic in the beginning, thinking I could get everything done on my list since it felt like I was doing new things everyday, and before I knew it, it was time to go home and I realized there were still things I wanted to see! But the good news is, I’ll be flying back at the end of April and my first stop will be the jazz bar that I’ve been wanting to go to.
The other thing that I found was not comparing your process to others and romanticizing everything goes hand in hand. If you are constantly comparing yourself to others, you may start to feel silly for romanticizing the things you genuinely enjoy. If you need to, lower down the volume of the noise on social media and do the things you love unapologetically, whether that be going to the event your student union is putting on or checking out a new green space in the city.
3. Saying goodbye on the other side is just as hard as saying goodbye at home.
I remember towards the end of my exchange, thinking about how excited I was to see my family and spend the holidays with them. But I didn’t anticipate how it would feel to leave the life I had just created for myself behind. The same way I cried tears when hugging my mom goodbye three months earlier, I cried tears leaving my best friend’s flat for the last time, the night before I was to take the train to London. But the good news is, just like your friends and family back home were only one call away, your community in your exchange city are also not that far away. I still call and text my friends back in Manchester regularly; it’s honestly so much fun to send each other pictures and tell each other stories from our week. Truly, how lucky are we to have friends all around the world?
Whether you’re about to leave on exchange, are currently on exchange, or coming back from one, I hope this gives you a sense of comfort. I find it somewhat corny to tell you to enjoy the experience while you can, but I do hope you take in every moment because it is truly an unforgettable experience.