The month of May is celebrated for being mental health awareness month. We all have had journeys with our mental health, it’s what makes us human. For those of us born as Generation Z, we have had to deal with a lot of challenges, including surviving through a deadly global pandemic. I am no exception to the millions of people who have struggled with their mental health. In 2022, I had hit rock bottom; I was at the lowest point in my life and was recovering from multiple deeply traumatic experiences that had changed my whole life. I was agoraphobic, socially withdrawn and unable to move past what had happened. I was stuck.
I felt all alone. I didn’t know anyone else who had been through anything like I was struggling with. The most difficult part of healing from my trauma was overcoming the shame I felt. I saw therapist after therapist, all who made me feel more ashamed, admitted they couldn’t help me or tried to convince me that there was some silver lining in all this.
As a last ditch effort, my mom found me one last therapist. Even though I didn’t have much hope that she would be different, I saw her anyway. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. She listened to me and validated what I had been through, but most of all, she didn’t tell me to look on the brightside or that it made me stronger.
Society wants to sell us this version of trauma that we become better after it, that it makes us stronger. As Kelly Clarkson famously sings, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Some people believe it does, some people don’t think so. We can all agree that when someone who doesn’t know you says that, it feels invalidating and like toxic positivity.
One day, after another session of processing what had happened to me, my therapist and I talked about that very sentence. My therapist, after pausing, said, “What doesn’t kill you didn’t make you stronger…. It just didn’t kill you”. That one sentence hit me like a ton of bricks. She was right. We don’t need to find a silver lining in everything that happens, sometimes events are just traumatic and there was no reason we had to go through them and that’s ok.
So while it sounds cliche when you’re struggling, It’s true that things get better. Trust me, I had a lot of odds stacked up against me that told me it would always be terrible. For those out there suffering right now, keep working through it and taking it day by day and don’t forget to be the positive change you want to see in the world. You never know who it could help.