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Fairfield | Wellness > Sex + Relationships

How to Maintain Your Independence While Being in a Relationship

Claire Fehlner Student Contributor, Fairfield University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Fairfield chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

A few weeks ago, I got really overwhelmed with balancing my school work, boyfriend, and friends, but I honestly just wanted and needed to sit in my bed and catch up on binging One Tree Hill to decompose a little. Sometimes things feel very all-at-once as if you cannot get your work done, spend time with those you love, and still have time to decompress by yourself. Learning to balance your own time while also prioritizing your relationship is certainly a learning curve and takes time to figure out this balance. I myself still feel like I’m in the process of it. 

One strategy that has been really helpful for me is to schedule time for myself. This can range from a nightly solo trip to the gym, to styling your hair for the week, or a scheduled 45 minutes of doom-scrolling on your phone. 

This strategy also works in the reverse. Finding a consistent time that both you and your partner are available can give both of you a weekly time to look forward to and rely on to ensure you will get that time together without it encroaching on your individual time. 

It’s important to be honest with your partner about maintaining your independence and prioritizing each other’s needs. Making a schedule to ensure that you have time to look forward to each of your responsibilities is vital to balancing your work and your sanity in a relationship. 

Claire Fehlner

Fairfield '28

Claire Fehlner is a Freshman at Fairfield University and is new to Her Campus. She is involved in writing pieces especially concerning fashion, campus trends, lifestyle, and current events. She has worked at two local retail shops in her hometown in MA and specializes in customer service. She is looking to get involved in Fairfield University’s student run newspaper, The Mirror, and radio, WVOF. She is currently studying English with a Literature concentration. In her free time, Claire loves to dance whether it is out with friends or in the student run dance ensemble at Fairfield. She enjoys movies, books, food, and music. When she is home she loves to walk on the beach with her dog, Otis and get coffee and shop with friends.