So, it’s finally happened. You’ve met your person, and you couldn’t be happier about it. Except for that one teensy little detail… they live 3,000+ miles away.
(It happens to the best of us.)
Here’s the good news: doing long distance is a whole different level of commitment. If you and your partner are willing to try and make things work despite the distance, that’s absolutely something to be proud of. As hard as it is to believe, there are even some positives to long distance. Not being able to see your partner every day truly does make you appreciate the time you get to spend with them so much more.
That being said… it’s definitely not easy! It sucks watching your friends get to be with their partner every day. It sucks having to see your partner’s face over a phone screen. It sucks not being able to even hold their hand for months on end. You can love your partner, and feel certain that they are worth every centimeter of the distance… and all of that stuff can still suck. Speaking from experience, though, there are a few things I’ve found make it suck marginally less. Here are 5 tips that I would give to anyone else currently in a long distance relationship hoping to make the experience a little more bearable!
- Figure out a Facetime frequency that works for you. As a college senior balancing a full course load with 3 on-campus jobs, I don’t always have the time to Facetime every single night (especially given the 5-hour time difference between the US and Scotland)! While I love a spontaneous “one of my meetings this afternoon just got canceled, wanna call for like 20 minutes?”, I also think it’s important to be intentional about finding days and times when both partners are usually free to Facetime. Scheduling weekly times you both have availability can go a long way in keeping communication in the relationship consistent.
- Plan virtual date nights. As fun as it is to casually catch up over Facetime, going out of your way to plan virtual dates every once in a while can go a long way in showing your partner that you are making a conscious effort to spend time with them. One easy and relatively simple idea is to share screens through a website like Zoom or Google Meet and watch a movie together, but you can also tailor your virtual dates towards certain interests you and your partner may share.
- Go old school and write each other letters. Yep, I’m talking snail mail. Even (or maybe especially) if writing out your feelings isn’t usually your thing, this can be the perfect way to immediately brighten your partner’s day. It doesn’t just have to be handwritten letters, either – anything that you can fit in an envelope (song lyrics, poems, photographs, etc) is fair game!
- Give yourself things to look forward to. Planning trips far in advance is not only a smart move financially (do not by any means wait until the month before to book a flight), but it also gives you both something tangible to look forward to. I personally love using the Color Widgets app (#notsponsored) to keep a countdown on my lockscreen. Watching the number get smaller with each day that passes only makes the excitement grow that much more!
- Remember the end goal. When long distance gets difficult, it’s important to keep in mind WHY you’re doing this, and WHO you’re doing it with. Think of the day you will finally get to close the distance and be with your partner long-term! Think of how worth waiting for that will be! Think of getting a flat together, adopting a dog together… whatever floats your boat and helps you get through the struggles of long distance.